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Posted by Mogli on March 09, 2002 at 17:48:02:
You're addicted to the Internet when:
1. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
2. All your daydreaming is preoccupied with getting a faster connection to the net.
3. You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
4. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse.
5. You can't call your mother...she doesn't have a modem.
6. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
7. You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
8. You don't know what sex over three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
9. You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
10. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
11. You forget what year it is.
12. You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for the net and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
13. You kiss your girlfriend's home page.
14. You laugh at people with 36000 band modems.
15. You leave the modem speaker on after connecting because you think it sounds like the ocean wind...the perfect soundtrack for "surfing the net."
16. You miss more than five meals a week downloading the latest games.
17. You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
18. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
19. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP...because you never log off.
20. You realise there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
21. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
22. You refer to your age as 3.x.
23. You refuse to go to a holiday spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
24. You finally do take that holiday, but only after buying a mobile modem and a laptop.
25. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
26. You start introducing yourself as "Seamas at I-I-Net dot net dot ie."
27. You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
28. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
29. You step out of your room and realise that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
30. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Mommy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
31. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
32. You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
33. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
34. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
35. Your bookmarks take 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
36. Your dog has its own home page.
37. Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
38. Your friends no longer send you e-mail...they just log on to your IRC channel.
39. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you've never had heart problems before.
40. Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
41. Your partner makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed."
42. Your partner says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
43. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
44. Your wife drapes a blonde wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
45. You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Google.
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