Terrorists admit blowing up Leenane bridge to keep Mayos out

BY JAVIER LAFFE

The radical terrorist group Al Tourmakeada are believed to be the ones behind the blowing up of the Leenane bridge as part of their campaign to keep all the Mayos out of Galway.
The sensational news emerged last night after the vicious group posted a video on the Internet claiming that blowing up the bridge was just the start of their ongoing campaign.
The destruction of the Leenane bridge has severed the main road between Connemara and Westport, and last night gardai at Mill St in the city were checking under the main bridges on the Curragh Line and at Claregalway where further devices were alleged to have been planted in a bid to disrupt the inward flow of traffic from the Mayo borders.
The Al Tourmakeada group is made up of disaffected Galwegians who are believed to have become frustrated at the influx of Mayo people into Galway taking all the best jobs, women, men and seats at the cinema.
“The destruction of the imperialist Leenane bridge was a symbolic gesture to show that we are serious about severing all links between Galway and Mayo. We will not stop at anything until we have cut the vein of Mayo people flocking across the border into Galway.
“We are disgusted that the media, which is controlled and owned by imperialist pigs, slaves to the puppets of capitalism, have portrayed the destruction at Leenane as an act of God and nature. They know that we are behind this,” said the masked spokesman.