Dear Wife,

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

* 54 times the sheets were just cleaned

* 17 times it was too late

* 49 times you were too tired

* 20 times it was too hot

* 15 times you pretended to be sleep

* 22 times you had a headache

* 17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

* 16 times you said you were too sore

* 12 times it was the wrong time of the month,

Then Gers Was Callin Me Ta Play Pool?