Posted by How's She Cuttin' on June 10, 2011 at 09:13:32:
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch.. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I
wonder what happened to this parrot?'
The parrot says, 'I was born this way.. I'm a defective parrot.'
'Holy crap,' the guy replies.. 'You actually understood and answered me!'
'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird.'
'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this - how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?'
'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing, but since you
asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You
can't see it because of my feathers.'
'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English, can't
'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought
to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford
'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody
wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20.
Just make the guy an offer!'
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational....
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he
understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot says,
'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I
should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man.'
'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.
'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the
door in a sheer black nightie..
'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'
'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and
began petting her all over,' reported the parrot.
'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'
Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and
began to kiss her all over.....'
Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'
'Damned if I know. It went all stiff on me and I fell off my perch!'
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