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Friday Fun


Posted by How's She Cuttin' on July 29, 2011 at 10:02:59:

“ Stagnure But Ture “

Read this quickly and you will be amazed.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulacity uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The
Phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mind. Aoccdrnig to research at Cmabrigde
Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht order the ltteers in awrod are, the only
iprmoatnt thing is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pcale. The rset can be taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a whlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas thought spieling was ipmorantt!

And because it's the bank holiday weekend, you get 2 for the price of 1...


The Vicar's Salary

At Sunday church the local Vicar explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.


There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave because he is so popular.

Fred Smith, who owns several car dealerships in Lancashire and
Cheshire, stands up and proclaims:

'If the Vicar stays, I will provide him with a new Jaguar every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!'

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and publican, stands and says,

'If the Vicar will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee private secondary school education of his children!'

More sighs and loud applause.

Agnes Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile,

'If the Vicar stays, I will give him sex.'

There is total silence.


The Preacher, blushing, asks her:
'Mrs. Jones, you're a wonderful and holy lady, whatever possessed you to say that?'

Agnes's 90-year old husband, Joe, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies:

'Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'F--k him'

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