A woman has unveiled the government's 'one nation' policies while sitting on a gold throne and wearing a crown encrusted with over 2,800 diamonds.
The woman - who is worth £340 million - announced measures which include freezing benefits, clamping down on strike action, seizing migrants' wages and removing automatic housing support for young people.
"My government will adopt a one-nation approach," she said. "And one is totally behind any approach that protects one."
She then left Parliament and returned to her £1 billion house. Her crown left shortly afterwards in its own horse-drawn carriage.
In submitting this post for publication I agree to the Terms and Conditions of the Disclaimer