Posted by Bob Theman on April 12, 2000 at 12:32:55:
A man prone to drinking too much was at his usual haunt, a bar, at
closing time, thinking of his return home and the loud and sometimes
violent reaction waiting for him in the form of his wife. Thinking he
would need a little something the next day, before leaving he purchased
a pint of whisky and put it in his back pocket. As he stumbled down the
street and neared home he slipped and fell on his ass. He reached down
and felt the broken bottle, and with his butt bleeding he headed for
When he arrived home he saw the lights were out. Good, he thought, she's
asleep I will sneak in. He crept up the stairs and into the bathroom. In
front of the full length mirror he pulled down his pants and surveyed
the damage. Taking a box of Band-Aids he proceeded to cover the various
cuts. Once complete he crept into bed without waking his wife.
The next morning he awoke, head pounding , to his wife screaming at him
at the top of her lungs, "Drunk again you useless feicer !!"
"All right you got me but how, if you were asleep, did you know that I
"Simple, there are Band-Aids all over the mirror in the bathroom!"
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