Posted by ***Faux Veritas News Service*** on September 02, 2000 at 09:11:07:
There has been a most remarkable development in the ongoing insurrection of breakaway rebel forces of the Republic of Bohola, The Bohola Republican Army, against the Republic of Connaught.
As dawn broke near the Castlebar town limits, the breakaway faction prepared to launch a massive attack against Castlebar, capital of the Republic of Connaught. As the attack commenced, it quickly bacame clear that something was drastically wrong. Castlebar was MISSING! All that remained was a huge hole, rapidly filling with water from the River Moy and crowded with rental boats full of German fisherman. The invaders stood - awestruck - at the impossible sight! Where had Castlebar gone???
This reporter has pieced together the story..... this is what happened.
Working under the cloak of darkness, the wind turbines just north of town had been completed. Power lines, water lines and phone lines connected to the town were severed. Then the huge wind turbines were started up and run up to their maximum speed. As the residents of Castlebar slept, the town was lifted skyward and flown away. "We had them thinking the turbines were for generating electricity," snickered Mike, the exiled leader of the Republic, "we had them fooled good!"
When the residents of Castlebar awoke Saturday morning, they discovered that their town was now an island, in the Adriatic Sea, off the coast of Italy.
President Mike, has announced that the town will be returned to Connaught after the pesky rebels are dealt with and the residents have had a chance to soak up their fill of Mediterranean sun.
Clark Kent reporting from Castlebar.island!