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    review by Luca Brasi                   Full Review List

Battlefield Earth

I have a lot of respect for John Travolta, I really do. He's been nominated for an Oscar twice, his films can be excellent, and in the event of a film like Pulp Fiction, Saturday Night Fever or even Grease, he can spark a whole new following of fans.

But dear God John! When you sat in your makeup for hours every day, having your dreadlocks and facial appendages applied and getting suited up in your spacesuit, ending up looking like a hung over Jamaican Klingon, did it NEVER cross your mind that this film might NOT have been the best choice?

Believe it or not, Battlefield Earth has remnants of plot. The Psychlos are alien bad guys (as if it wasn't obvious). Humans are slaves and prisoners. The Psychlos have kept the human race in servitude for a thousand years. One of the humans - named, of all things, "Johnny Goodboy" - starts a rebellion, armed with the knowledge he has learned from the ruined libraries, and with an arsenal of 20th century weapons. That still work.

For two hours we are pulverized with watching primitive humans learning to fly Harrier jets, John Travolta speaking the most foul dialogue ever to be permeated with maniacal laughter, and knowing that your good money was spent on watching this, and that you would never see your cash or those two hours returned.

Only watch while drunk, or if you're a complete space cadet.

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