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From: Papercut Pete
Date: 23/12/99
Time: 15:20:29
Here's an aul'curse for ye. This curse will work every time if repeated four days running, over the carcass of a slain pot-bellied-pig!
May your turkey not cook
May his feathers not pluck
May your gravy go stale
May your brussels sprouts fail
May boils and carbuncles appear on yer face
And rupture the moment you try to say Grace
May your crackers not crack
May your soup turn out black
May blisters-a-weeping appear on your back
May the hair on yer head
Turn a gross shade of red
May your milk turn all sour
May you puke every hour
May the smell of a badger pervade your whole house
And your family develop the fur of a mouse
But on January first
I’ll withdraw this curse
Except for the part where your cranium busrts.
Bye now, and a happy Christmas to yez all.