Posted by UTP on October 13, 2001 at 00:35:32:
In Reply to: October 1980 posted by UTP on October 13, 2001 at 00:26:03:
. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
2. Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.
3. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
4. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
5. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
6. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
7. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just dyed her hair.
8. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
9. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
10. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
11. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fúcked up when they're on their back.
12. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
13. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
14. Q: How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out on the screen.
15. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
16. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
17. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
18. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
19. Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
20. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
21. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jelly?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
22. Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.
23. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
24. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
25. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
26. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
27. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
28. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
29. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
30. Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
31. Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
32. Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
33. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
34. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
35. Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
36. Q: What's a brunette's mating call ?
A: Has that blonde gone yet?
37. Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
38. Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
39. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?
A: 69 plus G.S.T.
40. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
41. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits go in front.
42. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
43. Q: What do blondes do with their árseholes in the morning ?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
44. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
45. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?
A: Fertilised.
46. Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilised.
47. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after séx?
A: Opens the car door.
48. Q: How do blondes turn the light on after séx ?
A: Kick open the car door.
49. Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
50. Q: Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A: More leg room.