From the annals
of the Internet:

Fleshpots what fleshpots?

Fintan O'Toole, theatre critic, and commentator extraordinaire gets this week's Castlebar quote of the week (we never had a Castlebar quote of the week before, so big honour for Fintan we're sure). Anyway in Friday's paper he states that:

"Mr. Flynn's penchant for white jackets, polka dot shirts, shiny ties, and Brylcreem quiffs may have suggested to an ignorant outsider, the fleshpots of swinging downtown Castlebar."

Anyone got any idea of where these fleshpots are located? And where can one buy a white jacket in Castlebar? Even the Connaught had a go at Padraic's dress sense following his Late Late Show appearance. But seriously though, all of last week's controversy was completely misplaced. Surely the real point was that Padraic Flynn was auditioning to replace Gay Byrne as host of the Late Late Show when he leaves the Commission (next year?).

B.O.O.K

Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device, trade-named -- BOOK.

BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere -- even sitting in an armchair by the fire -- yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disc.

Here's how it works:

BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density and cutting costs. Experts are divided on the prospects for further increases in information density; for now, BOOKS with more information simply use more pages. Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.

BOOK may be taken up at any time and used merely by opening it.

BOOK never crashes or requires rebooting, though, like other devices, it can become damaged if coffee is spilled on it and it becomes unusable if dropped too many times on a hard surface. The "browse" feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Many come with an "index" feature, which pin-points the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows you to open BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session -- even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers. Conversely, numerous BOOK markers can be used in a single BOOK if the user wants to store numerous views at once. The number is limited only by the number of pages in the BOOK. You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with optional programming tools, Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Styli (PENCILS).

Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK's appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to invest. Look for a flood of new titles soon.

Year 2000 Holiday Pay
January 1, 2000
Re: Holiday Pay

Dear Valued Employee:

Our records indicate that you have not used any holiday time over the past 100 year(s). As I'm sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service.

Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next pay cheque will reflect payment of £9,477,432.02 which will include all pay and interest for the past 1,200 months. This amounts to 10787412.21 Euros.

Sincerely,

Automated Payroll Processing

Also:
Year 2000 Thinking:
It's just like programmers to shorten "the year 2000 problem" to "Y2K".
That's exactly the kind of thinking that created the problem first place.

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