The Ostrich has Landed!

 

Episode Four: Ozzy finds work on the black market
Ozzy in typical pose on the Mall, Castlebar

Ozzy has had a very difficult Easter period. While on a casual shopping trip to Dunneís Stores he experienced yet another trance like state during which he created a linen nest in the drapery department. He then proceeded to sit on several of the large Cadburyís Crème Eggs in an attempt to hatch them. Since the incident Ozzy has been availing of alcohol therapy in the Y2K

 

Director

 

 

Ozzy love, Guinness in only good for you in moderation!

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Ozzy, There you are- youíve caused some trouble I can tell you- Iíve washed them sheets several times but Dunneís still wonít refund me money- but thatís not the worst of it- the environmental fellas have been watching just how well you fitted in over here and now they want to bring another one of ye funny refugees into Mayo.

 

 

Melmac

 

 

havenít you heard the news Ozzyís Irish Iíve traced Ozzyís line back to the OíStrich family of Bally Westofireland

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Oh yeah, I bet you did; itís fellaís like you that cause all the problems all right Ė

I suppose itís you who says this new fella Eddie the Golden Eagle has ancestors in these parts too

(aside) If I Had my vay I vould clense the Ė

Oh hello Mike, Kharn, out for a few pints, lads, ha ha

 

 

Mike

 

 

Evening Comrade- if you will excuse us we have important revolutionary matters to discuss.

Kharn I read your post about finance on the bb- how much money have you collected from the internet scam- and is it in punts or euros?- we really will have to decide whether or not the republic of Connaught wants to become a legal member of the EU you know

 

 

Kharn

 

 

Dunno Mike Iím taking my share in Kís- hey why donít we get Erin Brockovich to handle things for us...legally I mean, sheís a fine woman,...legally speaking

 

 

Mike

 

 

Oh God canít you get a girlfriend? Itís cheaper, but back to the monetary policy issue. Ages ago I asked people on the bb to give their verdict- Ozzy, Ozzy what do you think of the EMU

 

 

Ozzy

 

(slightly tranced)

 

 

Emu, is it an Emu, where? let me at him,. Take that!


Ozzy vs the EMU in Castlebar County Mayo Ireland

 

 

Observer

 

 

Oh no the Euro has fallen again- what hope now for telecom shares Float thatís tied to the EMU

 

 

Ozzy

 

 

Sure and begorrah How can anything float on an emu sure an emu is too heavy to float thatís why they canít fly. Hadnít ye already got the punts to float on unless theyíre taking in water or something

 

 

Mike

 

 

Better giving it to the EMU than revenue commissioners of the Dublin Junta, they have already taken our natural gas, God it makes so mad Iíve taken to drinking my own smuggled Infacol-

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Mike! Thatís the answer to all our problems- thatís how weíll get our natural gas back! This ostrich has been sent from heaven lads

 

 

Melmac

 

 

Praise be as we say in my Temple... but what do you mean? Smugglingís kinda illegal

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Ha, ha well it would be if one of us did it but itís all about race relations boys, if Ozzy was a Muslim weíd have to let him practice his faith we couldnít arrest him- and seeing as heís an ostrich- well we canít stop him burying his head in say ... The Mall and look at the neck on him- Whoís to say how far he could go down- and then whoís to say he wouldnít want to burrow right out to the gas bed- it might be a cultural thing

 

 

Mike

 

 

But how would we get the gas back?

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Well now simple- in an effort to understand his culture us fellas could go out there and join him- and maybe a lay a few copper pipes to help him out. Thereís probably even a grant for it from the UN like one of those Border Cooperation grants they have up in your place Mike- Itís easy sure we could get Albert to work out the angles and everything

 

 

Mike

 

 

Yes I say Ozzy does a test run tonight- right now before the spies from the Dublin junta can find out what we are up to. Then we can apply for the grants tomorrow

Castlebar WebCam

 

 

Glacky

 

 

Right so - and if heís still at it in the morning sure Iíll rig up the dumper like a JCB and cut off the power from Dublin.

Ozzy caught by the Webcam

 

 

Ozzy

 

 

Kharn Kharn- what are you doing here so late- thatís illegal so it it

Caught in the Spotlight - Kharn and Ozzy together

 

 

Kharn

 

 

Oh just looking for some action- but look I wasnít going to pay for it or anything

Kharn not at a GAA match but in public!

 

 

Ozzy

 

 

No! I mean the pint sure itís illegal to drink outside unless you playing some sort of cyber GAA game or something!

Ozzy on www.castlebar.ie - The Ostrich has landed in Castlebar, County Mayo, Ireland!

 

Next Morning. Ozzy is still burrowing in The Mall. Suddenly from a haze of dumper fumes Glacky appears

 

Glacky

 

 

Drop everything Ozzy, Iíve come up with a brand new plan to fund our glorious revolution.

 

 

Ozzy

 

 

Thank Elvis!- Time for the labby so

 

 

Glacky

 

 

How did you know? Never mind. Listen closely for I vill say this only once! Last night I convinced a contractor called Milgarten to pay me 50000 pounds to rezone The Mall for for the building of a new hotel and today I want you to give him this piece of paper with my bank account number on it. - Quick heís in the Y2k right now

 

The y2k. Mr. Milgarten is in there with a friend, ozzy runs in breathless and hands over the piece of paper.

Ozzy hands over the details

 

Milgarten

 

 

Oh no, itís one of those refugees with their begging notes- Look I havenít got any money-

 

 

Ozzy

 

 

Begginí your pardon sir but Mr. Bavin sent me so he did, with the account number...

 

Later that day Glacky and Ozzy are celebrating in the y2k

 

Glacky

 

 

... well Ozzy you did well today but we still need more money for the revolution and the Dunneís Stores Easter incident has given me an idea how you could make even more money for us, I want you to post this on the BB later

 

Glackyís phone rings

 

Glacky

 

 

Oh hello Mr. Milgarten- what do you mean you couldnít lodge the money? - Oh I forgot all about them shutting down the Foxford bank- youíll have to lodge it to my Offshore branch- wait till I give you the number- itís Aran Island Under The labby Accounts 12345678...

 

The Ostrich is out there!

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