A FEW CHUCKLES!

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during

a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had

taken the space... Understandably, he shot her.

After stopping for a drink at a bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that

the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to

Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver

went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free

ride.

He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre

fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

Damn I like that one...

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from

serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he

received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to

see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an

examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen abdomen. It

only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your daughter is

pregnant."

The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her

daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by

having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched

the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out

the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am

paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a

star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping

that they would show up again.

When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its intended victim

during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot

did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel

and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of

its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a

finger. The chef's claim was approved.