A little experiment that has been done many times before and especially since the advent of online translation. I know it's a cheap shot but it is great fun.

Rudolph as your in such a way shining nose, you will lead mine sleigh this evening?

So how good is Google at tackling a simple piece of English that any four year old knows off by heart? Well not too bad as long as you are not translating anything important like the instructions on how to cook your Christmas turkey.

So this Sunday afternoon – after coming home from Mass in St. Mary’s next to the hospital where the microphone system seemed to have taken on a life of its own in opposition to Fr. Buggy and after listening to the breaking news that Saddam Hussein had been captured – I put Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer to the test. Google has a very useful multilingual translating facility which allows you to cut and paste text into its translation box and get the result back an instant later. Magical stuff indeed and it definitely makes the mind boggle at the speed.

Your mind may also be boggled at some of the results! Mountain ranges, smelly pensioners and I've heard of flying by wire but a hardwired Rudolph? First the original and then some samples.

Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it
You would even say it glows.

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games.

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then how the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee,
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer,
You'll go down in history!

…

Rudolph the red felt annuitant had a nose, which shines much. And if it always mountain range it that you would intensively say even the scandal. Whole other annuitant to reir it and with the designation the names, which can be never met arms of Rudolph in any play of the annuitant. Then a Santa brumeuse of Christmas on come fits, in order to indicate "Rudolph as its direct so shining nose, you not mine sleigh this evening? Then, how annuitant liked it, how they cried toward the exterior with glee "Rudolph the red felt annuitant become you history to write, in order to swallow!

…

Rudolph, the red-fiutata reindeer has had a nose a lot polishes. And if you never it saws it that even you would say it emits light. All the other reindeer has used to laugh it and to call names that have not left never insufficient Rudolph to be associated to some games of the reindeer. Then a Saint foggy eve of been born them has come to say, "Rudolph with your luminous nose therefore, will not guide mine this evening sleigh? Then as the reindeer loved it has screaied outside with the glee, "Rudolph, the red-fiutata reindeer, you will go down in the history!

…

Rudolph, the red-smelled reindeer had a very shining nose. And if you always mountain range he who you would even say shine intensely. All the other reindeer to reir it and called the names that never let Rudolph poor assemble in any game of the reindeer. Then one eve foggy Santa of Christmas came to say, "Rudolph with her nose so shining, you will not direct my sleigh tonight? Then how the reindeer loved it as they shouted towards outside with glee, "Rudolph, the red-smelled reindeer, you will enter history down!

…

Rudolph, the red-smelled reindeer had a nose very shining. And if you never saw it which you would say even he rougeoie. All the other reindeer was accustomed to laughing it and calling names which they never let poor Rudolph join any play of reindeer. Then one takes care misty Santa of Christmas came to indicate, "Rudolph with your so luminous nose, won't you guide my sleigh this evening? Then how the reindeer liked as they shouted outside with the glee, "Rudolph, the red-smelled reindeer, you will enter the history downwards!

…

Rudolph the red smelled annuitant had a very much shining nose. And if you never saw it that you would even say it rougeoie. Whole other annuitant had the habit to laugh it and names requires that they could be connected never poor Rudolph with no annuitant play. Then a brumeuse Santa of Christmas on come does not fit to indicate over "Rudolph as your in such a way shining nose, you will lead mine sleigh this evening? Then, how annuitant liked it, how they cried outside with glee to "Rudolph the red smelled annuitant become you with history to enter downward!

…

Rudolph the smelled pensioner red had a nose very very shining. E if you never mountain range it who you would say rougeoie exactly to it. All the other pensioner had the habit for riz it and the names require that they could be hardwired never poor Rudolph with no game of the pensioner. Then one brumeuse Saint of christmas in the come one does not fit to indicate the excess "Rudolph as its inside nose so shining in the way, you will lead to sleigh of the mine this night? Then, as the pensioner liked d, as they had outside cried out with glee "Rudolph the smelled pensioner red become you with history to enter for low!

Silent Night was originally a German song. So what does Google make of it when the German is translated into English?

Satisfies night!  Heil'ge night!  Everything sleeps;  lonely only trusted highly holy pair is awake.  Holder Knab ' in the lockigten hair, sleeps in more himmlischer rests! sleeps in more himmlischer rests!

(Just in case here is the English version: Silent night Holy night, All is calm all is bright, 'Round yon virgin Mother and Child, Holy infant so tender and mild, Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace )

Noel Papa is Coming to the City:

Oh!  You improvement the clock towards outside, you improvement not the shout, you improvement not the codfish, I is saying to him so that ':  Noel papa is coming to the city!  He is making a list, he is verifying it twice, he is going to discover who is travieso or pleasant.  Noel papa is coming to the city!

And what was that you ask?

Oh! You better watch out,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I'm telling you why:

Santa Claus is coming to town!

He's making a list,
He's checking it twice,
He's gonna find out
who's naughty or nice.

Santa Claus is coming to town!

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth:

Everything that I wish for Christmas, meins two teeth before is two teeth before, sees wins my two teeth before!

I saw Mammy kissing Santa Claus?

I saw Mommy, which kisses Christmas of father under the mistletoe after the night.  It did not see me crawling to the bottom of the staircases, in order to have piaulement;  It thought that I upwards in my room which can be deadened quickly fallen deposited from remplié.  Then I saw the tickling the father Christmas de Mommy under one his inside such bar of spacing the snow-covered one in manner of barb;  Ampèreheure, which laughter it would have been, if the dad saw only Mommy, which kisses Christmas of father the last night.

And On the 12th Day of Christmas:

The twelfth day of been born them, my love to align has transmitted twelve drummers to me that tamburellano, eleven pipers that convogliano, ten getlteman chesaltano, nine getlteman who dance, eight domestic servants chemungono, un-a-swimming of the seven swans, six geese chepongono, five rings gilds to you, four birds of call, three French hens, two doves of the turtle and one pellet in a pear tree!