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General : Columns : Celia Last Updated: 2, Apr 2018 - 10:02


Lonely Or Just Alone???
By Celia Anderson
18, Jan 2002 - 22:32

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Have you ever wondered what goes on in the mind of the person sitting across from you? Is that person happy, sad, looking forward to something, dreading to get back to Dublin or even lonely? Is that person thinking the same about you? You could develop a phobia delving too deep into that topic, but it could be very interesting.
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Castlebar on Christmas Eve


What I did notice over the Christmas period, is that people have the season all wrong. Have you noticed how people seem to become more aggressive and impatient with one another over that period? Even in the lovely small town of Castlebar, people changed. Is it the hustle and bustle of the shopping? Is everyone under so much stress that all the merriment is lost and only found again on Christmas Eve? Can anyone explain this to me? Why do people get depressed over Christmas time? (Am I naïve? No, not really. But I do wonder, besides all the obvious reasons I stated above, why?) I know there are lots of lonely people out there, and that could cause some of the distress. BUT HEY!! If there are so many of you lonely (or alone), why don’t you meet???

I have many lonely moments in my life, but most of the time just get mad at myself and do something about it. Please don’t think for a moment that I am criticising lonely people. I would never dream of it — and who am I to judge in the first place? (Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt).
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Are you alone in the crowd?


Why not take the first step and phone an “old friend”. Pride can be a sneaky fox at those times. You don’t want to phone in case your “old friend” is busy with his life. Don’t fear, even if that is the case, at least you enjoyed a few moments of idle chat and caught up with some old news. You might also find yourself in luck. Your old friend might also be sitting at home alone, wondering if he should make that call. Some people have a problem admitting that they are “lonely”, as if it were a sin to be lonely. It is not, every one of us is lonely or alone at some stage of our lives, and it does not mean that we are not loved or popular. It just means that at that time of our lives, we don’t feel connected to someone else. You could be in a crowded room, full of people you know, and still feel lonely. That is not a fantasy or crazy, that is the truth, and the reason for that is, that you don’t feel connected to another person right there and then. You might also at some stage of your life be totally on your own and not feel lonely. If you do have a problem with admitting that you feel lonely, and it is due to the cause that you are on your own and need company. Than take the easy way out — there is no shame in it, if it leads to a happy end. You might have trouble saying to your old friend. “I am lonely, so I called you.” If you don’t feel up to it, and it is stopping you from connecting, then just pick up the phone and say something like “I am bored, You free for…….???” Or “ I have some time on my hands and thought it would be great to get together for …….!” Think about it, it might be a “loneliness” cover-up, but it still is the truth. Easier to roll of the tongue than “I am lonely”. If you are one of the people who can say that straight out then good for you, but also good for the person who gets to the same happy ending jumping over a different hurdle. Just remember, every hurdle has a different height, and some might take more than one try, but at the end…they are all hurdles. Happy landing!

I can already hear you all out there… "Man, if it was only that easy?!?” Yeah, it is not easy, it is actually very hard to jump that hurdle, but once you have jumped that first hurdle, you can look back and say “That wasn’t too bad after all!” …NEXT !!!


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