Jokes & Stories

Q: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the ball? A: Because he had no body to go with.	Molly Molly Molly! Sitting in the trolley! Pulling in the dollys! Like old Polly!	Q: Why were Adam and Eve so good at running? A: Because they came first in the human race.
Interesting facts about animals There are all different types of animals like elephants, cheetah and rhinos. They are all wild. There are pet animals too like dogs, cats and rabbits. Animals are different heights for different reasons. For instance a giraffe is tall to eat leaves off trees. Did you know the cheetah can run over 70 miles per hour? Lamas look very alike camels except camels have humps and lamas don’t. The lion is called king of the jungle and the hyena is called coward of the jungle. Every animal needs water and if an animal didn’t drink water it would die. A rabbit’s most hated enemy is the fox. Female lions are called lionesses. Some camels have humps that lean over and others have straight humps. Hippos normally live in the water but sometimes they come to land. Tigers are not in Ireland but zoos and circuses have them. There is a cow called a jersey cow because they are born in jersey. In deserts there are vultures that can kill you. by Shane
	Q: What happened to the Kerry man who was doing the river dance? A: He drowned.	Q: How do you start a bear race? A: Ready teddy go
Paddy Englishman Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotsman were going to a desert and they were allowed to bring one item with them. Paddy Englishman brought a flask of water, Paddy Irishman brought sandwiches and Paddy Scotsman brought a car window. Everyone had a look at each others items and Paddy Englishman and Paddy Irishman both looked at Paddy Scotsman gift and they asked him why he brought a car window? And he said "if I am too hot I can wind down the window and let a breeze in."
Q: Why did the spider go on the computer? A: To find a web.	Q: What did the old phone say to the young phone? A: You’re too young to be engaged.
Castlebar Mitchels is on Mc Hale road. This year they will have 5 pitches. Two of them belong to the Mayo County Board. They senior team got a new coach called Joe Mc Cabe. He is a P.E teacher in St. Gerald’s secondary school in Castlebar. Castlebar Mitchels are doing a lot of building and improving on the grounds of Mc Hale Park. Mc Hale Park is home of the Mayo county team. They play some of their championship matches in Mc Hale Park. You can play indoor soccer, basketball, squash, racquetball and badminton in the Sportlann, which they own. They got a gym for the public to use. You can rent the hall for a hour for Ł25. It is the only all seater stadium in the whole of Ireland and that is including Croke Park. The senior team started training outside on Sunday the 21/1/01. They were doing fitness work in the hall inside. They reached the All Ireland Club Final in 1993 which they got hammered. The End. By Michael and Kenneth.
Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck? Don’t look now, I’m changing! A: Don’t look now, I’m changing!
Bart in 3D Land Helma and Zelma are coming Bart, Homer and Lisa have got to hide. Homer and Lisa have already found a place Homer went into the closet and Lisa went under the stairs. Bart could only think of under his bed. He runs up the stairs goes into his bedroom dives under the bed. Ding-Dong the doorbell rang. It was Helma and Zelma are already here.Bart sees a hole in the ground and says cool!!!. He puts his head in and gets sucked in. I curamba its 3D land. Bart had landed on a train from Westport to Castlebar. When Bart got off the train he was arrested for having a slingshot on board the train.The cops whack him in the head with a bat and bring him into jail. When Bart wakes up he is in the same cell as Barney and he asks him where am I? You are in Castlebar in Ireland and you are in 3D land. I curumba said Bart. When Bart got out he went to St. Pats school and beat up everybody in the school with his skateboard. Bart go suspended 100 times in one year.And he never got back. The end by Michael M.
Q: How do you confuse a Kerry man? A: Put him in a round room and say sit in the corner.	Q: What’s a Kerry man’s latest invention? A: A bullet proof jacket and if it doesn’t work you can bring it back.	Q: What did the blanket say to the bed? A: I’ll keep you covered.