Castlebar.News      
    From The West of Ireland
    Go to Castlebar | Photo Gallery | Castlebar Directory | Nostalgia Board
Leisure Last Updated: 2, Apr 2018 - 10:02


Will the Real DNA Brown Stand Up?
By M
15, May 2007 - 08:11

Email this article
 Printer friendly page

Over the past 10 years we have received lots of requests for permission to use photographs or queries about articles published here on the site. We recently had a query about a particular post on our Online Forum aka Bulletin Board. The query wondered whether the following article was a hoax or genuine as they were undertaking some research for a book and they wished to contact the author. The post appeared originally on 19 March, the day after the 2006 Triple Crown game against England on the St. Patrick's Bank Holiday weekend. Obviously a leisure-filled weekend for DNA Brown - or not? So will the real DNA Brown stand up? The following is the post about St. Patrick's DNA:

 


 

St. Patrick wasn't French - so sue me. It's a little known fact that St. Patrick was married many times in different parts of the country - plus he had a wife at home in Wales too. My latest research that I have undertaken all by myself conclusively proves that St. Patrick was kidnapped here to Mayo.

A careful re-reading of his confessions clearly shows that he worked out there in the woods at Breaffy House for six long years. He was tortured and even forced to learn Irish.

It was the lovely ladies that brought him back though - he couldn't get them out of his dreams - they kept calling to him as Gaeilge - "A Phaidi comawn out and havva bit of craic". Drug taking was a problem back then even.

The most conclusive part of my research is a careful examination of the old maps. "Patrick's Bed" is writ large on so many different maps around the country - not just in Mayo now mind. Of course I have now visited every one of them and undertaken careful forensic examination of the sites. DNA analysis allowed me to match, over and over, the same individual - obviously traces of St. Patrick's long locks. It just takes a hair to identify an individual, as anyone who watches CSI will know.

But that is not all. Now that I know St. Patrick's DNA precisely I proceeded to match it against the modern Irish genome. Guess what? His rare Welsh DNA type is present in a small but exclusive section of Ireland's population! It's so close that they just have to be his descendants.

I went back to gather more evidence at all of the St. Patrick's bed sites around the country. I just needed a few hairs of his companion or companions. It was difficult work because of all the clover growing there [In fact in passing I unearthed another scandal there is no such thing in botany as a plant called 'shamrock' - shamrock IS clover! We have been fooled for all these years - and you thought a female lurking there in Da Vinci's Last Supper painting was bad!]

Of course I did find not one woman's hair but many. He was not monogamous by any means. Of course he could have been preaching to the ladies you say? But that's where DNA comes in again. Remember that select segment of the Irish population that I believe are descended from St. Patrick? Well when you look at the other half of their chromosomes the DNA match is perfect - the lovely ladies have their contribution there too. He had a predilection for a certain type - dark haired Cathleen Ni Houlihan types of course - what else?

Okay that's my story nearly complete - except I am sure you are wondering who can claim descendency from St. Patrick today? Do they live mainly in Mayo? Or maybe they are to be found exclusively around Armagh perhaps? Maybe they are today's Orangemen and Orangewomen? Or maybe Sinn Fein members have exclusive lineage from the great saint?

So far the DNA (and it's no coincidence that DNA is an anagram of DAN) evidence - the DNA evidence from a very large sample of the Irish population shows conclusively that the only people with St. Patrick's blood in them are RUGBY PLAYERS. You saw his genes out there on the pitch in Twickenham yesterday bravely and gallantly defending Ireland's honour against the old enemy - you saw the Castlebar Under 16s winning the Connacht League last week. Them's the descendants of St. Patrick! You will be able to buy the book soon ? available in all good and some not so good bookshops any day now.




© Copyright 2007 by © Contributor(s) and Castlebar Web Pages 1997 - 2018

.. Top of Page


Leisure
Latest Headlines
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 19 Feb 2019
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 12 Feb 2019
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 5/6 Feb 2019
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 22 Jan 2019
Castlebar Bridge Club Charity Drive
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 15 Jan 2019
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 20 Dec 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 19 Dec 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 4 Dec 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 27 Nov 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - 9 Nov 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results for 1 Nov 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 29 Oct 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 25 Oct 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 24 Oct 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 16 - 19 October & 23 October 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 9 & 11 October 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 2 & 4 Oct 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 25 & 27 Sep 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 17 to 21 Sep 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 11 Sep 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club
Castlebar Bridge Club 13 Sep 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club Results - 7 Sep 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club Presidents Prize Winners Ray and Helen Norton
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 27 March 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results for 20 Mar 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 13 March 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 6 - 8 March
Castlebar Bridge Club 14 - 18 Feb 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Valentines Competition
Castlebar Bridge Club - Wednesday Morning Results 7 Feb 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 6 Feb 2018
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 5 Feb 2018
Mayo Organic Group Christmas Liqueur-Making Session
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 9 Nov 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 10 Nov 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club Results 7 Nov 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 24 Oct 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 17 Oct 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Wed 11 Oct 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 10 Oct 2017
Mayo Author's Book Launch
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 13 Sep 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 5 September
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 15 August 2017
Summer Bridge - 9 August 2017
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 2 Aug 2017
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 26 July 2017
Summer Bridge - 19 July 2017
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 4 July 2017
Summer Bridge - 27 June 2017
Walks Parade - 7 pm on 1st July
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 13 June 2017
Wild Food as Medicine
Castlebar Summer Bridge Results - 6 June 2017
Summer Bridge - 31 May 2017
Angling News from the West - 17 May 2017
Angling News from the West - Galway - 11 May 2017
Angling News from the West - Ballina w/e 7 May 2017
Angling News from the West - Ballina - 5 May 2017
Angling News from the West - Galway - 4 May 2017
Angling News from the West - Ballina - 30 April 2017
Angling on Loughs Corrib and Mask plus Galway Fishery - 27 April 2017
Angling News from the West - 23 April 2017
Castlebar Summer Bridge
Chris Casey and Maureen Flynn win Margaret Cashins Presidents Prize
Castlebar Bridge Club Results - 11 April 2017
Angling News from the West - 6 April 2017
Bee-Friendly Gardening
Castlebar.ie In Merger - 50 Jobs Announced
Angling News from the West - 30 March 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 31 March 2017
Angling News from the West - 26 March 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 28 March 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 23 March 2017
Angling News from the West 19 March 2017
IFI Galway Angling Report 16 March 2017
Angling News from the West - 9 Mar 2017
Trek for Mayo Roscommon Hospice
Castlebar Bridge Club 2017 Results
Castlebar Bridge Club 2017 Results
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 28 Feb 2017
Angling News from the West - 23 February 2017
Individual Competition - 22 Feb 2017
Valentines Bridge Night 2017
Mayo Organic Group - February meeting
Castlebar Bridge Club - 9 Feb 2017 Results
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 7 February 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 3 Feb 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 31 Jan 207
Castlebar Bridge Club - 26 Jan 2017 Results
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 24 Jan 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 19 Jan 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - 17 Jan 2017 Results
Mayo Organic Group Welcome Kay Mole
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 10 Jan 2017
Castlebar Bridge Club - Results 3 Jan 201
Long Sheet Winners - 14 Dec 2016