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Last Updated: 2, Apr 2018 - 10:02 |
During Lent I set out to find me and to heal from past traumas. I am amazed how God speaks to us when our hearts are open, I am also amazed how God brings things to the forefront whether that’s what we asked for or not. I guess I did want to find me, the old me, instead I found a new me. By me not sitting at the computer during that time I found my body had changed and I was tired very tired, spent a great deal of time in bed. I did have a distraction with the computer and everything else because a lot involved sitting, I realize now I was compensating for the fatigue and generally not feeling well, not paying attention to me. I have been feeling sick for a long time, and attributed to all I mentioned before Lent. I guess when you feel sick for such along time you forget what feeling good feels like. During Lent I got an infection in my leg and this was towards the end of Lent so I already knew something was not quite right. I realized this has been on going. The suspicion is Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Lyme disease. These sound like a meek / wimpy illness’ but what ever it is it has been completely debilitating for me. On Monday the 15th I will go to Denver to National Jewish Hospital to see an immunology specialist. I have always been the one to help others, Emergency Medical Technician on the Ambulance, supporting numerous neighbors and friends that have been sick. Me I don’t get sick. This will be an interesting role of being a patient. I am hopeful, I am scared, and I feel like a child and don’t want to go. I am the one that brings people to the hospital not the one that is brought to the hospital. I am amazed even though this is not what I had in mind for “My Journey” during Lent, thank goodness I did, a God send, a blessing. God's graced me with seeing I needed intervention, with the distractions I might not have discovered that my health might be in jeopardy. What kind of patient will I be? My journey continues, Lent was a stepping-stone for me. Now for me it is a leap of faith.
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