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Sounds of the past and what is to become
By yellowbud
22, Jul 2002 - 09:08

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On this mild July afternoon I sit, listening to the sounds of my past, my youth, and happier times. Although at the time it didn’t seem happier, hindsight. Although carefree, endless summer days and nights, many friends have come and gone, past loves, excitement of new romance, casual carefree, young, entire life ahead of me. Listening to the sounds of then take me back, I have lost my sparkle, my zest, and my esteem. Listening to this music is helpful to realize what I have lost or should I say given up! I am sad, angry, and lonely. I have literally swallowed myself up my pain has engulfed me. I have allowed myself to live in a box, instead of me going on with my life ever expanding as in my past; I have given into a life in a box! Maybe I have been afraid of possible change by getting out of the box; maybe I have been afraid it would take me further away from safety. I am lost! My music is my fountain of youth my place to get refreshed.

I miss my childhood friends. I miss Anne, I miss Liz, and I miss people from my past, those that have gone before, Dave! I want to remember always!

I can still feel the way I did then now, smile, laugh, and possibilities that are endless. I miss my past style white T-Shirt — blue jeans, and cowboy boots and a tan! I will get there! I have all my anger all locked up inside! I have had my fair share dished out to me. I wanted to be at home with the kids — I've got two — a hell of a way to be able to do it though. I want to take in all the senses of this summer and enjoy, I want to enjoy every minute of my daughter’s last year home! I want her to be happy and fly, just fly, and live life to its fullest what ever that is for her! I love her so much! Her life has not been easy, I hope and pray she is unlocking the key to her soul to just fly!

I thank God for all the blessings with her she is my dear! I have not been a good example for her! I want to get it all in now, it is never too late! My son is my buddy he will succeed I will make sure, and I will too! I am so glad I love music, and that my daughter shares that as well I hope my son will too! I know I will make my life work- all of it.

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